ROCHESTER, N.Y. – The death of a 15-year-old student at School of the Arts has shaken parents and students alike. News10NBC went to an expert, Dr. Jennie Noll, the executive director of the Mount Hope Family Center, to learn how we can help our children cope with this tragedy while checking in on their emotional and social wellbeing. For the students who attended school with the 15-year-old, this conversation may be especially tough.

“You ask yourself, what could I have done? What could I have done differently? How come I didn’t see. How come I didn’t help?” Dr. Noll said.

Deanna Dewberry, News10NBC: “Let’s talk about that. The kids at that school may be feeling those very feelings. What could I have done? What should I have done? What’s your advice to them and the adults who are going to be helping them right now?”

Dr. Jennie Noll: “Everything is in hindsight. We can’t change the past. What we can do is understand how we treat each other as human beings, as friends, as colleagues, as peers.”

Dr. Noll also discussed the impact of social media on peer interactions.

“Social media has exacerbated everything in terms of how peers interact because there are no rules on social media and kids can gang up on each other. Kids can take messages really wrong. There’s a lot that is said and unsaid on social media in terms of what is liked, what is not liked,” Dr. Noll said. “So the best we can do, is helping kids understand that that’s not all there is to communication. That’s not all there is to friendship. And that’s not all there is to my self worth.”

Deanna Dewberry: “The most emotionally exhausting experiences that I as a parent have had with my teenagers revolve around social media. I think for a lot of parents it is just so big. It is just overwhelming. What’s your advice for parents?”

Dr. Jennie Noll: “Well social media can also make something like this tragedy a lot worse too. Because if you spent a lot of time on social media getting your information only through social media, only what other kids are saying, you’re gonna get misinformation, disinformation and you’re gonna ruminate more than is healthy.”

“So taking a break making alternative plans for kids. We’re gonna have a different time tonight. We’re gonna take a social media break and we’re gonna go bowling. We’re gonna do something as a family or have your friends come over and we’ll play games tonight,” Dr. Noll suggested.

It’s not surprising that much of the conversation focused on the potential harm of social media. Monitoring our kids’ use and encouraging breaks is crucial. And remember, help is always three numbers away: 988, the suicide lifeline.

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